At what point do you expect someone to have “the Talk’? You know – the one about their STD? Methods range from dropping hints along the way, to laying it all at once, to keeping it hidden until you can’t any longer. Meet Positives’ CEO weighs in on the issue many of his members face.
"Of course Meet Positives encourages transparency. Most of our members, like 99%, are victims of a dishonest partner." Says Lombardi
Meet Positives is a dating website for people who have an STD and looking to move on in their life match with a person baring the same disease.
Being honest is important. Keeping information from your partner not only risks the relationship, but also the safety of the other person. Dropping hints may not be enough to cue them into having “the talk”. Yes, telling someone about your condition can be difficult, but it can also be a necessity. You can rest easier knowing you didn’t contribute to the statistics. You can personally be a part of the movement to stop the spread of STDs.
"There are more important qualifiers people must look for in a prospective mate before having sex and talking about their STD,” advises Lombardi, “like do you want kids, do you have a faith, did you vote for Trump, seriously, these will make-or-break a relationship."
Especially in the case of online dating, getting to know someone face to face is important. There is a certain level of care you should take when having “the talk”. Consider this: your first date could be one of many dates, or it could be the last date. Are you invested in the relationship? Take care in how you tell your partner. Are you not connecting to this person in any way? Then you have just saved yourself from unnecessary discomfort. Determine if you would like to see them again before broaching the topic of STDs.
"Modern dating protocol is all wrong. Sex on the first date is risky and condoms don't stop herpes or HPV - they just don't!”
Dining and dashing, while seen in modern dating, is not necessarily the right way to do it. In the same way, don’t dine and dash when informing your significant other about your STD either. Telling them all about your condition and then leaving them with the bill almost guarantees no call backs. HPV or Herpes doesn’t have to be the conversation bomb you think it will be. If you approach it from a second date point of view, you may find you and your partner are better able to talk about it.
Speaking of risk, almost everyone has nerves on a first date. Don’t add to the anxiety by not staying safe, or by giving your partner the feeling that you are keeping something from them. Waiting for the second date allows the other person to process things without adding to their anxiety. Putting it out there on the first date and leaving them out in the deep end is not going to end well for anyone.
The way today’s population dates, it’s no wonder we almost avoid dating entirely. It can be even more difficult for those with a condition. This is where joining online communities can help. Websites like Meet Positives helps ease people into those conversations with like - people. If you are online, you can be a part of a dating community with people who are also determining the best way to broach a sometimes difficult subject. You may find it to be a lot easier than you think. No matter who you are it’s about finding out what’s right for your partner, right for your relationship, and right for you!